The road to soul-searching .

One of the maxims my late mother used to nurture us into virtuous, respectable people was, "Let your life speak." What I found so fascinating about this particular maxim among the many that she used to raise us up into children she could be proud of, is that, to me its meaning kept changing as I grew up.

My early youth understanding of "Let your life speak" led me to conjure up the highest values I could imagine and then try to conform my life to them. I thought it meant, "Let the highest truths and values guide you." I lined up the loftiest ideals I could find and set out to achieve them. Of paramount importance during those formative years was the need to make my parents proud of me not necessarily what would make me be proud of myself. Somehow I got the idea that my life had to speak good to my parents only. The results were admirable, often laughable, and sometimes grotesque but they managed to build a good foundation for my character.

In my teens the maxim, "Let your life speak," retained the meaning of my early youth and added on to it what my peers would applaud. Things like fashion, latest hairstyles, latest music cassetes, reading the latest novels and seeing the latest films. The need to be accepted and belong to a peer group became incorporated into, "Let your life speak." So most of the time what I would do as a teenager wasn't really what deep down in my heart I felt I wanted to do but what my parents and my peers would approve of. But always they were unreal, a distortion of my true self--as must be the case when one lives from the outside in, not the inside out. I had simply found a "noble" way to live my life without taking consideration of what the person that is me wanted.

In my married years the meaning of the maxim , "Let your life speak," added on to it what my husband and his clan would approve and discarded peer dependent values that I had added during my teen years. I was determined to make my marriage work and so followed what the older women in my clan had advised me was the ideal behaviour that was expected from a married woman according to our culture. "Let your life speak," then meant letting my life speak good to my husband and the society. The real person that is me became hidden as I tried to conform to the norms of a Zimbabwean marriage. The results were rarely appreciated and my soul was disturbed, true peace and happiness eluded me and as long as I did things without asking myself what I wanted first I felt suppressed. There may be moments in life when we are so unformed that we need to use society norms and culture like an exoskeleton to keep us going and when doing so doesn't bring us happiness we are bound to revolt. Trying to live by an abstract norm, will invariably fail--and may even do great damage

By all appearances, things were going well, but the soul does not put much stock in appearances. Seeking a path more purposeful than accumulating wealth, holding power, winning at competition, or securing a career, I had started to understand that it is indeed possible to live a life other than one's own. Fearful that I was doing just that, I would snap awake in the middle of the night and stare for long hours at the ceiling. My aunt had advised me that a good woman was supposed to tolerate violence from her husband as part of marriage and keep quiet if the husband acted irresponsibly but that was not how I wanted my husband to treat me. True self, when violated, will always resist us, sometimes at great cost, the cost to me was my marriage but I have no regrets.

Today, "Let your life speak" means something else to me, a meaning faithful both to the ambiguity of those words and to the complexity of my own experience. I learnt that before I let my life speak I have to do some soul-searching & know what I want
from life, not what my peers or the society want, or else my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intentions. My new meaning of, "Let your life speak," came from my realisation that everyone has a life that is different from the "I" of daily consciousness, a life that is trying to live
through the "I" who is its vessel. It takes time and hard experience to sense the difference between the two, to sense that running beneath the surface of the experience I call my life, there is a deeper and truer life waiting to be acknowledged. If I am to let my life speak things I want to hear, things I would gladly tell others, I must also let it speak things I do not want to hear and would never tell anyone else! My life is not only about my strengths and virtues, it is also about my liabilities and my limits, my trespasses and my shadow. An inevitable though often ignored dimension of the quest for "wholeness" is that we must embrace what we dislike or find shameful about ourselves as well as what we are confident and proud of. I do not feel despondent about my mistakes, though I grieve the pain they have sometimes caused others. Our lives are "experiments with truth" and in an experiment, negative results are at least as important as success. I have no idea how I would have learned the truth about myself and my calling without the mistakes I have made.

Listening to what my soul wanted became the key to letting my life speak. The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and trustworthy conditions. The soul is not responsive to subpoenas or cross-examinations. At best it will stand in the dock only long enough to plead the Fifth Amendment. At worst it will jump bail and never be heard from again. The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and
trustworthy conditions and the onus was on me to create such conditions for my soul.
The soul is like a wild animal, tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is to go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the base of a tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye we will catch a glimpse of the precious soul we seek. In the many hours of solitude I spent as I tried to use solitude as an antidote to loneliness I managed to make my soul emerge for a time long enough for me to search it for answers about the road that my life had to lead. The result was this pursuit for peace, love and happiness that my blog is all about.

Friends like these make the world worth living.

On finding out that I was hurting & on the verge of breaking up with Dumi, my friends Chipo, Agnes, Clemencia , Babra & Monika, (who normally comment on this blog but are not doing so these days because they want to do so over the Christmas holiday when they are relaxed at home and using my blog as a source of entertainment) teamed up through communication technologies and came up with a, "sorry you broke up" card, (even though we hadn't broken up yet, it was their way of urging me to break-up with him ) on which they wrote some very beautiful words that touched my soul. They knew that behind the bravado facade my heart was hurting. These are the kind of sweet words that I can't help but share with you readers of this blog.






AGNES WROTE,
Just because God is still preparing your King doesn't mean that you aren't already a Queen.
Just because no man has shown up who can love you on your level doesn't mean that you have to stoop to their level.







CHIPO WROTE,
Just because most men feel threatened by your above average intelligence and the high standards you set for yourself doesn't mean that you have to pretend to be mediocre-minded and lower your standards.
Just because no man has been smart enough to realize the true love that you are capable of giving and receiving doesn't mean that you are not worthy to be loved.





CLEMENCIA WROTE,
Just because you haven't been fortunate enough to meet your Mr Right yet doesn't mean that your Mr Right is dead, he is out there somewhere and the two of you will eventually meet.
Just because Dumi cheated on you with Dudu doesn't mean the next man who comes into your life will do the same.






BABRA WROTE,
Just because you are alone & lonely now doesn't mean that you will remain alone & lonely forever and die a lonely old maiden.
Just because God hasn't shown you your soulmate yet doesn't mean that he won't show you your soulmate in your lifetime.






MONIKA WROTE,
You are always in my heart and in my thoughts and in my prayers. Sorry to read, that you are on your own again. Welcome to the club! I wish there was nobody joining.






When I read those words I felt choked up, overwhelmed with how my friends always rally around me in my time of greatest need. Just when I thought I was alone once again in this world, my friends showed up to declare their love for me and their support. Dealing with the loss of a relationship, even if it ends by your own choosing, is never easy. There are feelings of anger, sorrow and blame to sort out, as well as new choices and a new relationship to face without letting it be affected by past wounds, past baggage. These friends of mine have been my daily companions, helping me ease the difficult period from having a relationship with someone to being out of the relationship & feeling alone. (even though Dumi still swore that he loved me with words though his actions said otherwise) From coping with the pain of being cheated on, to discovering new ways to love and nurture myself, from tackling feelings of despair and confusion to learning to enjoy the present moment.






With friends like these, it is no wonder that I feel so appreciated, loved and happy
to be in this world even amid the rubble that Zimbabwe has become. I love my friends Agnes, Chipo, Clemencia, Babra & Monika for being there for me.

Zimbabweans are crossing the thin line between love & hate

It is exactly three months after the signing of the Government of National Unity (GNU) deal on the 15th of September and yet nothing has come out of it. It has proved
to be a Going Nowhere Union. As I went down memory lane to the euphoria following the signing of that deal I couldn't help remembering the article I wrote on my blog soon after the signing of the deal which was entitled, "A penny for my thoughts." If you read that article and its comments you will remember this part of a comment on that article when I was advising the GNU leaders. "My word to Mr Prime Minister is that we know that you are not very learned but we believe that one doesn't have to be very learned for one to be able to run a country. As long as you choose the right intelligent people to advise you and to run the key ministries you are home and dry. Make sure that power doesn't go into your head and make you arrogant and refuse to listen to advice. Also remember that your strength lies in the fact that most Zimbabweans love you because you are in touch with the plight of the ordinary Zimbabweans. Always remember that there is a very thin line between love and hate so if you want most Zimbabweans to continue loving you, make sure you remain in touch with the ordinary people's needs and deliver those needs. Zanu PF has always labelled you as a puppet of the West and how you handle the issue of land redistribution will determine whether they were right or not. Everyone will be watching that issue very closely and it is an issue that can make or break you. Let me conclude by thanking you Mr Prime Minister for bringing democracy back into Zimbabwe. Had it not been for you I wouldn't have the freedom to write all this on my blog and the comments from my friends wouldn't be so frank and straight to the point. With these few words of advice I rest my case."

When I made that comment I had hope that the signed GNU deal was going to be implemented. Anyway the point I am trying to make is that it seems Tsvangirai did not heed my advice. His slow reaction to the cholera pandemic & the hunger ravaging the lives of ordinary Zimbabweans has caused many of his supporters to cross the thin line from love to hate. His refusal to come back home from Botswana citing the fact that he has no passport has made even more of his supporters to cross the thin line between love and hate. If he managed to go to Botswana without a passport, he can easily come back home without a passport. Zimbabweans see that as running away from them at a time when they need him most, a time when they are dying and would want their leader to be there for them right there on the ground & not remotely. Showing concern and organising medicines and food supplies for them. What Tsvangirai is forgetting is that his power lies in the people who support him and he should always make sure that he is addressing the problems in those people who support him. The fact that the equitable power sharing deal has not been agreed upon is no excuse to desert his supporters. Many Zimbabwean intellectuals have always thought that Tsvangirai is not President material due to the fact that he is not very learned and that fact affects his reasoning power but they still rallied behind him because he is a better devil than Mugabe who allowed his ministers to run down the country when he was in power. Besides, Tsvangirai was the only other credible election candidate because Simba Makoni had lost timing to announce his divorce from Zanu PF & his candidacy in the elections so people were left with no option but to support Tsvangirai. It seems, that support has gone into his head and made him loose focus so it is about time we tell him the truth that most people support him only because there is no other party besides the unpopular Zanu PF party and not because they think he is fit to be President. If he wants people to continue supporting him he should maximise his one strong point & show his love for ordinary Zimbabweans instead of running away to Botswana every time the ordinary Zimbabweans have major problems in their lives. It is not the first time he has done that, if you remember well he did that again soon after the 29th of March 2008 elections when Zanu PF green bomber militia started perpetrating gross violence to his supporters in the rural areas. While his supporters in the villages were being killed, maimed and beaten up for supporting him, he was in hiding in Botswana and South Africa. If a leader shows such cowardice by running away and not standing up to defend his supporters, it is no wonder that his followers follow suit and rarely stand up to defend their rights. He is instilling the cowardish behaviour into his supporters of taking flight or hiding when things get tough instead of standing up & fighting. The situation here in Zimbabwe is going to continue to get worse through his strategy of waiting for Zimbabwe to collapse totally, (whilst he & his family live lavishly in Botswana)hoping that it is only then that the Mugabe regime will relinquish power to him. The question is has he taken consideration of what the ordinary people want? Do ordinary Zimbabweans want to continue suffering until the country totally collapses and most of their relatives have died from hunger and cholera, so as to pave way for his getting into power.? Does he honestly think that he is so great that his getting into power is more important than the lives of Zimbabweans who are dying as he waits patiently for the country to collapse.? Is he worth dying for? I am not saying that he should submit to SADC or Mugabe's unfair demands in the power-sharing deal, all I am saying is that he shouldn't sit on his laurels just because an equitable power sharing deal hasn't been signed. He should be seen to be working here in Zimbabwe towards making sure that the hunger and cholera human catastrophes in the country that are affecting the ordinary Zimbabweans who love or loved him have been eliminated.

Let me conclude this article by telling you about a certain American whose arrogance and pride when he tasted power caused his downfall. The press called this particular American a "fallen power figure," after his arrogance and pride forced his resignation from a top political advisory post in Washington DC. Looking back on how it all happened the man said, "I started out being excited working for the President, then I became arrogant, then I became grandiose and then I became self-destructive. I am prone to being infatuated with power and believing that the rules do not apply to me." An Associated Press article said that during the months leading up to his resignation, he ignored his workmates' advice, his friends' advice, his supporters' needs, his wife's advice as well as the rules.

That man's story is the trap that I see Tsvangirai falling into if he allows pride to shape his attitude and determine his actions instead of embracing humility in his life. As he reads this article his pride might say, "Rubbish I don't want to hear it", but wisdom will say, "You are close to the edge, humble yourself, stop & listen." If he is wise he will listen to this advice and make sure that from now onwards his behaviour, actions and reactions will not cause more supporters to cross the thin line between loving him and hating him.

The reason I wrote this article is because I don't want to nurture a dictator by not pointing out when a leader does something wrong. I urge all Zimbabweans not to repeat the mistake they did with Mugabe of not telling him when he was in the wrong and in so doing nurturing him into a dictator. Let us all learn to point out to our leaders the areas were they go wrong instead of keeping quiet and letting them neglect us or do as they please with our country and our lives.

Ten days to Christmas

The Christmas season has arrived in full force and all the world with one accord rejoices that God gave to men, a Saviour to save us from sin. The celebration of Christmas is people's way of making up for missing Jesus's birth. I personally think that you can't trully celebrate Christ's birth until you have invited him into your heart and a proper celebration has got nothing to do with presents, going to holiday resorts or eating lots of good food, it is about how you feel connected to Jesus in your heart as you celebrate his birth.


There are so many Christmas traditions that we follow without full knowledge of where they originated and their significance in relation to the birth of Christ. Wanting to find answers for everything in life is what I am known for and so I delved around for information that provides answers about some Christmas traditions.
I want to share that information with you.

1. Why do we have Christmas trees?
Legend has it that in ages past when miracles were the order of the day, a child seeking shelter on a bitter winter's night knocked at a forest hut. A woodcutter and his wife took in the child and fed him. Overnight, the boy turned into an angel- the Christ child- dressed in gold. As a reward for the couple's kindness, the child broke a twig from a fir tree and told them to plant it, promising that each Christmas it would bear fruit. And so it did, a crop of golden apples & silver nuts, the first Christmas tree. This legend originated in Germany and before long the now familiar sight of giant Christmas trees in public places and more modest ones in shops and homes was widespread. Nothing expresses the magic of Christmas more fully than a fir tree ablaze with light, shimmering with frost, real or artificial and crowned with a star. Christmas trees are beautiful but as we celebrate Christmas let us not let ourselves or our kids get lost in their beauty to the extend that they forget to celebrate the real meaning of Christmas, which is the birth of Jesus Christ.





2.Who is Santa Claus?
Santa Claus was a certain Bishop Nicholas of the Roman-ruled city of Myra in Asia Minor. He was renowned for his piety and gentleness, his gifts to the poor and his love of children. When he died in the year 326 he was declared a saint. St. Nicholas became known as Santa Claus from the Latin, Sanctus Nicholas which the dutch called Sinterklaas. Santa Claus became the jolly, red-robbed, "ho-ho-ho!" character of current tradition due to the image of St Nicholas wearing red and breeches and smoking a pipe that the early Dutch settlers in New York had on their ship. This image of Santa Claus was enhanced by an American writer and publisher, Washington Irving and later by Clement Clarke Moore who published a popular poem entitled, "Twas the night before Christmas." This poem depicted a chubby St Nicholas wearing a red costume and breeches and riding with his eight flying reindeer, squeezing down chimneys and filling children's stockings with toys. Finally in 1863, Harper's Illustrated Weekly published a cartoon in which Santa appeared as we know him today, complete with long white beard and a fur-trimmed coat.
Santa Claus was indeed a man of great benevolence and generosity but let us not forget or let our children forget that Christmas is not about him, it is about the birth of Jesus Christ.





3. What is Boxing day all about?

The name Boxing Day originated from the medieval times when it was the day when priests emptied church alms, boxes of money given by parishioners at Christmas and distributed it to the poor. In prosperous homes, servants opened boxes that held tips saved during the year. In later years and up until now Boxing Day became the day when presents are given as some sort of tip for good behaviour or good work done throughout the year.
It feels good opening boxes of presents on Boxing day but we shouldn't look forward to that day more than we look forward to the day Jesus Christ was born and let us teach our children that the opening of presents on Boxing day is far less important than the celebration of Jesus Christ's birth.




Let me conclude this article by giving Charles Dickens the credit due to him for the gusto, merry-making and the awakening of loving and kind thoughts in people during the Christmas season, as families are united in a spirit of charity and love, that is the modern day Christmas. Charles Dickens caused the current jollity and spirit of goodwill during the Christmas season through his series of annual Christmas books entitled, "Christmas Carol."

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL.

Could we please be locusts called Zimbabweans

Locusts have no king just as Zimbabweans have no leader at the moment. The aspiring GNU leaders are all so ineffective and indifferent to the plight of the ordinary people that it is just as if they are non-existant.



In Proverbs 30v27, the wise man Augur observed that the locusts have no king yet they all advance in ranks. We Zimbabweans have no leader to talk about at the moment yet we could organise ourselves to advance in ranks towards liberating ourselves from the pathetic situation we are in.



Locusts demonstrate the power of working together for a common cause. What they can not do individually, they are able to accomplish together. Zimbabweans can learn a lesson from these little creatures. Imagine how successful this country would be if we all worked together towards the restoration of our economy and the rebuilding of all the decayed institutions in the land.



One locust seems insignificant as it leaps across a field but when it joins forces with other locusts, the resulting swarm can soon devour all the vegetation in its path. If all Zimbabweans were to join hands in demonstrating against the authorities who have let our beautiful country rot they could soon chase them away from power and pave way for fresh democratic elections.




A swarm of locusts working together towards one objective never fails in its endeavours, it soon achieves its goal. Could we please be locusts called Zimbabweans who demonstrate the good team dynamics of locusts by uniting and co-operating towards the attainment of one goal, which is to change our pathetic situation.