Life is made up of bits and pieces of moments of joy most of which pass so swiftly yet they leave permanent marks in our lives. How we often wish we could freeze those moments in time so that the joy they bring to us stays with us forever. We keep memories of some of those moments in our photographic memories and remember them during moments when life seems so sad and hopeless but no matter how often we remember them and they make us smile they are just that, memories.
1. Do you remember the feelings of joy when you thought you had finally found mutual love from a soulmate that would lead to a lifetime full of love, peace and happiness? The mutual love was but only a passing emotion and did not last the lifetime you had envisioned but it was sweet while it lasted.
2. Do you remember the joy of anticipating for the first day you would meet someone you had loved for so long but had never met? The feelings of joy, love and excitement as you waited patiently for the two of you to meet. How you longed for an embracing, warm and love-filled first hug and when instead you got a cold, "Hello" you suddenly realised that, that moment of joy had passed away so swiftly. It's one of those moments that you keep replaying in your mind and sometimes replace the actual events with your own wishful thinking. If given a second chance to make a first impression would he/she make it not a passing moment of joy but the prelude to a lifetime of joy?
3. Do you remember the day someone unexpectedly proposed to you or the day you unexpectedly proposed to someone? That beautiful moment when he went on his knees and told you that he loved you and wanted to be engaged to you. That beautiful moment when you went on your knees and declared your love for her and how you wanted the two of you to be committed to that love. She was taken aback because she thought the two of you were just friends and could never be something else and had to ask him to give her time to think about it. She never said yes because she was in love with someone else but that beautiful moment when he was down on his knees will forever be etched in her mind as a passing moment of joy. Joy that someone loved her enough even though she had no feelings for him.
4. Do you remember the day you got married? Hopelessly in love and naive, you thought marriage meant a lifetime of bliss laying on a bed of roses so on that day you were operating on cloud nine. The marriage turned out to be not all roses with the thorns of the roses pricking the marriage ever so often. So your marriage day was but only another of those passing moments of joy.
5. Do you remember your honeymoon? All those days of indulging in the pleasures of the body without any nagging issues at the back of your mind and the joy of it all. The pictures of the two of you on your honeymoon failed to capture all the joy you were feeling inside your heart just as your life together after the honeymoon was over failed to retain that joy of the honeymoon days. So your honeymoon was but only another of those passing moments of joy.
Most of life's passing moments of joy have to do with love. How I wish love was something you could pin down and catch in your hand, never to let go. Unfortunately you can't do that with an emotion like love, it is not tangible. If love was tangible surely we would make the passing moments of joy not pass but stay with us forever.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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One of the coolest reads I have ever seen. I have realized that it takes some silly remark or act to disappoint the other person. One former colleague told me she found that safest way not to disappoint a lover is not to have one. True but hardly practicable. Being prudent I did not ask her if she literally has none but I doubt that. Unfortunately her statement is by and large true. It's other meaning is once in it you are are bound to make a few missteps. But you look at your margin of error. If the fear of hurting them again clouds you then you may go into a maze. You give yourself time to reflect and them to reflect too. In my opinion if the points of 'conflict' are surmountable then both parties have to be willing to scale them - often that's the case. It's hard to count on the fingers of one hand the things that can etch an equator between people who had initially fallen for each other.
ReplyDeleteAfter all is said and done I think those who often succeed in love are those have a keen eye to note where they got it wrong and devise a way of getting more things right than wrong. Any two birds continuosly aiming at the unattainable 100% will comfortably fall into the 90s. Who ever says a 90 is not A grade anywhere in the world will get a basketful of fine grain from me.
Murimi WeZviyo
Hey Murimi WeZviyo, I couldn't have said it any better myself, you have hit the nail on the head. So tell me, do you have any ideas as to how to catch the moments of joy so that they stay with you forever. If somebody loves you today is there any guarantee that tommorrow he/she will still love you and in the same way as he/she loves you today? If you truly and genuinely love somebody and want to convince him/her that you will love him/her forever how do you do that when he/she has experienced passing moments of joy before as written in the above article?
ReplyDeleteLove is a mutual feeling. The litmus test to love is feeling and seeing that the person is striving to make you happier. If that is the case you automatically pledge eternal love to them and saying will become just a superfluity. Obviously even the kindest of hearts will find it very difficult to keep on loving who loves them only when its convenient for them.
ReplyDeleteCatching the moments? That's a million dollar ask! I have some memories myself that brought me immesurable happiness for an unforgettable four months recently. I still replay the sweetest of voices, still read and re-read the sweet emails, look and re-look at the exceptionally beautiful face. That way I recapture some of life's finer moments and it lifts me up. At the end of the day I ask myself, I could get all wrong? Like many of life's questions i still have to find an answer to that. Even if it means I may have to copy!!
Murimi WeZviyo
Eusebia I read and re-read this article. I must admit I have found no answer – I think a romantist if ever there is one will give a better answer. I am a football fan and there is an element of ‘luck of the draw’ in issues of love as well. If you draw a guy who matches your expectations the chances of enjoying the fleeting moments are ever so high. If you draw a bad card the moments you described in your article will be even shorter. So the first step depends on me – is he potentially my type?
ReplyDeleteI know of a former workmate whose now husband (as upto 2007) went out of his way when they were at varsity to win her love. He ‘stopped’ drinking and smoking and went to the woman’s church. They were soon head over heels and before they left varsity they had a child, and later a wedding. Meanwhile the guy drifted back to his old life of drinking and smoking. To cut a long story short, he is now back to his old ways with a vengeance. That’s a bad card and for that woman chances are the good memories are packaged in the past never to return barring developments of epic proportions.
Things will go wrong in every aspect of life love include. From my confused analysis I think in the end one has to look at themselves and ask: Am I making it easier for the other party to love me? Do I understand what makes them tick and what makes annoyed? Are they the jocular or ever serious ones? Do they see or appreciate my perspective; and do I in turn? I think these are some of the ‘little’ things that occasionally see us get it ever so wrong. But then books, films, stories, real-life scenarios have been depicted about love to increase our knowledge and yet we remain on the margin of error all the time.
Murimi WeZviyo
Murimi WeZviyo thank you for enlightening me about this great emotion called love. After reading through what you wrote I must admit that I am not as puzzled about love as I was before I had read your comments.
ReplyDeleteI happen to be one of the last few romantics myself and sometimes I wonder if my perspective of love is too good as to be unrealistic. For example I expect love to accept unconditionally a person as he/she is. If he/she tends to misinterpret jokes sometimes depending on his/her mood but loves whole heartedly I don't expect that to cause a love breakdown. If he/she smokes or drinks and doesn't go to church but loves her/him whole heartedly I don't expect that to cause a love breakdown. If he/she is not as good-looking and smart upstairs as the person of my dreams but has a good loving heart that loves him/her whole heartedly I don't expect a love breakdown. And yet in the real world I have seen relationships breaking over one's different sense of humour, lack of outer beauty or insecurity over how beautiful/handsome someone is, low IQ or insecurity over a high IQ etc, all sorts of minor issues and it is cases like that that make me get puzzled about love. My romantic mind only justifies a love breakdown when one is unfaithful, dishonest, untrustworthy, disrespectful, unloving, cruel, unattentive, uncommunicative, irresponsible, arrogant and unresponsive sexually and take all other issues as minor and not worth to cause a love breakdown.
Let me confide in you a bit Murimi WeZviyo and dear readers and tell you about my experience. I have found out that the minute I tell a man who is interested in me about this blog and he reads some of the political articles on it his interest in me fades or completely dies down. Read the article on this blog entitled, "You can't quieten me," and tell me honestly if a man who is interested in me won't disapper from my life once he reads that article. It seems men don't like women who have a political opinion which they dare voice out. I have come to the conclusion that men feel intimidated or threatened by the intelligence I exude in some of my articles or they don't like the fact that I have the courage to talk against politicians. So now if anyone wants to date me I won't tell him about this blog and when conversing with him I will not let my above average IQ come out in my discussions. But that is not good, pretending to be mediocre minded which I am not and it makes me very quiet because I will be afraid that the minute I open my mouth the true intelligent me will come out in the open and chase away a potential hubby. And all this because I don't want to die as a lonely old maiden staying all alone with no one to grow old with, my kids having long left me to lead their own lives. I hope soon I will meet someone with whom I can make the moments of joy not pass but stay with us forever.
I agree with you Eusebia. One should always be themselves or nothing: never pretend. What gain will you get by suppressing your IQ? Just to win somebody? No. That's why I mentioned the agony which pretence brings when I mentioned my ex-workmate. She now sees that this guy pretended to go to the same church, pretended to be of sober habits ONLY to win her heart. I betcha if she knew this in advance, she might have not gone out with him.
ReplyDeleteThen you can never suppress your true clors, they will always show. He who loves you with your true colors shining will ride many a storm with you. I personally would not pretend to be what I am not since it won't get me anywhere.
I am rather rudimentary at times and I would like you to put me thru to "You can't quiten me" on blackboard. Thanks for the coverage, I feel really flattered.
Murimi WeZviyo