Once upon a time in the land of Oz, far far away from this outback land of Zim there lived a man named Dumi who is mentioned in so many old articles on this blog. From the 26th of January 2007 until two months ago he and I were internet dating and getting on so well that my hopelessly romantic imagination thought a marriage was obvious, until a series of events that started on the fourth of July 2008 and involved a love triangle with a tribalistic woman named Dudu who coincidentally happens to stay at the same block of apartments as myself happened and eventually led to our break-up. I did mention this break-up in my article, "The pursuit of happiness,(Part 2)," but I thought I should announce it officially now on this blog since he(Dumi) features in so many articles and was becoming a sore point since I have boken up with him. Instead of deleting all the articles on this blog where I mentioned Dumi I opted to make an official announcement about the break-up.
Last Saturday I woke up just as dawn was breaking and as I looked outside the window at the breaking dawn I longed for a dawn in my own life. A man who would be as constant and true as every morning's dawn, but instead of being my breaking dawn he will be my shining dawn, sharing with me the beauty of the first stirrings of life every morning and planning our day together. The man will promise to be my dawn.
The very first thing I do every morning soon after admiring the breaking dawn from my bedroom window is take a bath. There is something about bathing that fills me with joy. It probably sub-consciously reminds me of the time I floated naked in my mothers womb and felt so secure and comfortable, cushioned from the world's problems by my mother's uterus. Ever since I got out of that safety net into Mother Earth I have tried to re-create that feeling of peacefulness I felt in the womb and the only time I get close to it is when I am in the bath tub, bathing. I however get a little sad when bathing and I want to scrub my back and can't reach it, then I start wishing I had someone to rub my back whilst I am bathing. I don't mean the kind of back rub that my daughter can give me. A man in my life would rub my back when I am bathing.
After having my hyper-inflated breakfast which is just enough to get me to the heavy meal of the day at supper-time without fainting, I rush to the bank to get my weekly ration of my own money from my bank account. Talking about fainting I imagine myself fainting from hunger and being rushed to the doctor's surgery where the doctor will immediately examine me and then simply order the nurse to feed and discharge me. I don't know if it is my humour that is warped but I find that quite funny but not so funny when I hear that doctors here in Zimbabwe are getting so many cases like that and have begun to stock milk and cornflakes in their surgeries to feed such patients. Anyway let me get back to the part of my weekend were I am doing my weekly banking and thinking about the day I fainted in the hot banking hall due to the heat and lack of proper ventilation in the banking hall, after waiting in the queue for hours. I envy my friends Chipo and Agnes who don't have to stand in a bank queue unless they want to because their partners do the banking for the family. As I did my banking I wished I had a man to do banking for me.
After banking I rush to my wireless networked laptop because it is time to reach out to someone through the best invention ever made in the history of mankind, the computer. Phones can fail me but rarely does the internet fail me even in this decaying nation. Thanks to yours truly, myself, my job is to maintain the internet backbone that serves the whole of this nation and ensure that there is no downtime or it is reduced to a minimum. Internet dating is cool, thanks to the amazing leverage of technology. Love words flow between us and make us feel the hugs and the kisses that are but only a figment of our imaginations. A long distance relationship that survives on trust & constant communication. A relationship not based on outer beauty or sex but based on the inner beauty of a person as judged through the internet communications and how our two minds click. My friends think internet dating is one big joke because it lacks physical intimacy to take care of one's sexuality but they are wrong. Sexuality can be taken care of through words sexly spoken to each other such that they caress our bodies and then strong imaginations do the rest. Talk about one sure way of preventing HIV infection besides abstaining and using the rubber and that is long distance internet dating. I want a love that permeates geographic boundaries and communication wires as it flows to embrace me such that I will have no doubt that the day we will meet there will be fireworks. I love the internet and getting away from it was difficult but I had to do it because I had to have my hair done.
Is it just me who feels that a well styled hair-do is the key to looking well-groomed and makes one feel confident being a woman. I am obssessed with making my hair look good which is why my eldest daughter Amanda exclaimed with surprise, " Mum what's wrong?", when she came back from boarding school and saw that I had cut my hair short. I had to tell her that it was because of the hyper-inflation in the country and Gono's RBZ policies that make it impossible for me to access enough money from my bank account to take care of my hair as well as buy some beauty luxuries like face foundations, powders and perfumes. Every facet of a Zimbabwean's life has been affected by hyper-inflation and I mourn the death of luxuries like manicures, pedicures, facials and massages that used to be a monthly indulgence for me as I celebrated my womanhood. A man in my life would motivate me to bring back all those luxuries into my life and make me enjoy my elegant womanhood again. After having my hair done I rushed home to bath and dress for a wedding and then left for the wedding with my two daughters Amanda and Emma.
Amanda's cousin Tendai was wedding. It was a garden wedding beautifully set in the parents' backyard in one of the posh surburbs. The reception was starting at 16:00hours and going on until late into the night. I have always loved evening garden weddings, there is something about people wearing evening wear and being merry whilst holding champagne glasses while lights shine on them as the moon smiles at a distance that makes evening weddings so romantic and I happen to be an incurable romantic. Anyway so there I was at the wedding with my two daughters and the three of us dressed in evening wear and high heels and looking stunningly beautiful. I could have enjoyed myself immensely had it not been that everywhere I looked I could see couples together and it reminded me that I was alone and lonely with no man in my life. I wished I had a man who would escort me to such gatherings like weddings so that I don't feel out of place among couples.
The morning after the wedding we were tired but had to wake up early to go to church because God is worth it. Can't afford to be so tired as to miss a chance to praise, worship and pray to him in fellowship with others. Even though he(God) sees it fit to make me a lonely woman at my age, I don't hold it against him because that pales in comparison to all the gifts of life he gave me and continues to give me. What would I do without Jesus? Anyway as we praised, worshiped and prayed I couldn't help noticing couples around me holding hands as they prayed and even as I thought of Jesus and God I wished I had a man in my life to hold my hand as we pray together.
The only time I ever cook is on Sundays, the rest of the time I leave my daughters and the maid to do it. I do love cooking especially when I have all the ingredients to make a scrumptious meal but because of the hyper-inflation in this country getting all the ingredients one wants has proven to be a nightmare and that has made me loose interest in cooking. But I am sure if I had a man in my life I would be motivated to cook for him not only on Sundays but everyday. We would cook together, how romantic. I have always found a man who cooks very romantic. To hell with what our African culture would say about a man in the kitchen being a sign of him having been hypnotised by the woman in his life. That's bull!
A weekend would be incomplete if it doesn't involve relaxing outdoors as well as watching TV with my daughters and the love of my life if he was around. As I sit in the garden admiring God's great art I day dream about the 101 things in the beautiful nature that God created for us that I would want to share with the man I love and who loves me. The simple things like lying on our backs on a beautiful lawn carpet during a warm night and staring at the moon & stars, bathing together in a flowing river on a hot summer afternoon, walking slowly whilst holding hands as gentle showers of rain pour on us, etc. Later on as I lie on the couch watching TV, I start wishing I was lying on the lap of a man who loves me and whom I love as we watch TV together.
Damn, why should God make an incurable romantic like myself lonely, it's such a worst of my romantic nature. Anyway, it is romantic thoughts of the 101 or more things I wish I could do with the man I love that can keep long distance internet-dating alive with possibilities and hope of so much to look forward to when we meet and would make the relationship very exciting. I personally think long distance internet dating is appropriate for people like me who have vivid imaginations and believe in getting to know each other's minds and characters first before taking the relationship a step further into the physical intimacy level.
Last Saturday I woke up just as dawn was breaking and as I looked outside the window at the breaking dawn I longed for a dawn in my own life. A man who would be as constant and true as every morning's dawn, but instead of being my breaking dawn he will be my shining dawn, sharing with me the beauty of the first stirrings of life every morning and planning our day together. The man will promise to be my dawn. 
The very first thing I do every morning soon after admiring the breaking dawn from my bedroom window is take a bath. There is something about bathing that fills me with joy. It probably sub-consciously reminds me of the time I floated naked in my mothers womb and felt so secure and comfortable, cushioned from the world's problems by my mother's uterus. Ever since I got out of that safety net into Mother Earth I have tried to re-create that feeling of peacefulness I felt in the womb and the only time I get close to it is when I am in the bath tub, bathing. I however get a little sad when bathing and I want to scrub my back and can't reach it, then I start wishing I had someone to rub my back whilst I am bathing. I don't mean the kind of back rub that my daughter can give me. A man in my life would rub my back when I am bathing. 
After having my hyper-inflated breakfast which is just enough to get me to the heavy meal of the day at supper-time without fainting, I rush to the bank to get my weekly ration of my own money from my bank account. Talking about fainting I imagine myself fainting from hunger and being rushed to the doctor's surgery where the doctor will immediately examine me and then simply order the nurse to feed and discharge me. I don't know if it is my humour that is warped but I find that quite funny but not so funny when I hear that doctors here in Zimbabwe are getting so many cases like that and have begun to stock milk and cornflakes in their surgeries to feed such patients. Anyway let me get back to the part of my weekend were I am doing my weekly banking and thinking about the day I fainted in the hot banking hall due to the heat and lack of proper ventilation in the banking hall, after waiting in the queue for hours. I envy my friends Chipo and Agnes who don't have to stand in a bank queue unless they want to because their partners do the banking for the family. As I did my banking I wished I had a man to do banking for me. 
After banking I rush to my wireless networked laptop because it is time to reach out to someone through the best invention ever made in the history of mankind, the computer. Phones can fail me but rarely does the internet fail me even in this decaying nation. Thanks to yours truly, myself, my job is to maintain the internet backbone that serves the whole of this nation and ensure that there is no downtime or it is reduced to a minimum. Internet dating is cool, thanks to the amazing leverage of technology. Love words flow between us and make us feel the hugs and the kisses that are but only a figment of our imaginations. A long distance relationship that survives on trust & constant communication. A relationship not based on outer beauty or sex but based on the inner beauty of a person as judged through the internet communications and how our two minds click. My friends think internet dating is one big joke because it lacks physical intimacy to take care of one's sexuality but they are wrong. Sexuality can be taken care of through words sexly spoken to each other such that they caress our bodies and then strong imaginations do the rest. Talk about one sure way of preventing HIV infection besides abstaining and using the rubber and that is long distance internet dating. I want a love that permeates geographic boundaries and communication wires as it flows to embrace me such that I will have no doubt that the day we will meet there will be fireworks. I love the internet and getting away from it was difficult but I had to do it because I had to have my hair done. 
Is it just me who feels that a well styled hair-do is the key to looking well-groomed and makes one feel confident being a woman. I am obssessed with making my hair look good which is why my eldest daughter Amanda exclaimed with surprise, " Mum what's wrong?", when she came back from boarding school and saw that I had cut my hair short. I had to tell her that it was because of the hyper-inflation in the country and Gono's RBZ policies that make it impossible for me to access enough money from my bank account to take care of my hair as well as buy some beauty luxuries like face foundations, powders and perfumes. Every facet of a Zimbabwean's life has been affected by hyper-inflation and I mourn the death of luxuries like manicures, pedicures, facials and massages that used to be a monthly indulgence for me as I celebrated my womanhood. A man in my life would motivate me to bring back all those luxuries into my life and make me enjoy my elegant womanhood again. After having my hair done I rushed home to bath and dress for a wedding and then left for the wedding with my two daughters Amanda and Emma. 
Amanda's cousin Tendai was wedding. It was a garden wedding beautifully set in the parents' backyard in one of the posh surburbs. The reception was starting at 16:00hours and going on until late into the night. I have always loved evening garden weddings, there is something about people wearing evening wear and being merry whilst holding champagne glasses while lights shine on them as the moon smiles at a distance that makes evening weddings so romantic and I happen to be an incurable romantic. Anyway so there I was at the wedding with my two daughters and the three of us dressed in evening wear and high heels and looking stunningly beautiful. I could have enjoyed myself immensely had it not been that everywhere I looked I could see couples together and it reminded me that I was alone and lonely with no man in my life. I wished I had a man who would escort me to such gatherings like weddings so that I don't feel out of place among couples. 
The morning after the wedding we were tired but had to wake up early to go to church because God is worth it. Can't afford to be so tired as to miss a chance to praise, worship and pray to him in fellowship with others. Even though he(God) sees it fit to make me a lonely woman at my age, I don't hold it against him because that pales in comparison to all the gifts of life he gave me and continues to give me. What would I do without Jesus? Anyway as we praised, worshiped and prayed I couldn't help noticing couples around me holding hands as they prayed and even as I thought of Jesus and God I wished I had a man in my life to hold my hand as we pray together. 
The only time I ever cook is on Sundays, the rest of the time I leave my daughters and the maid to do it. I do love cooking especially when I have all the ingredients to make a scrumptious meal but because of the hyper-inflation in this country getting all the ingredients one wants has proven to be a nightmare and that has made me loose interest in cooking. But I am sure if I had a man in my life I would be motivated to cook for him not only on Sundays but everyday. We would cook together, how romantic. I have always found a man who cooks very romantic. To hell with what our African culture would say about a man in the kitchen being a sign of him having been hypnotised by the woman in his life. That's bull! 
A weekend would be incomplete if it doesn't involve relaxing outdoors as well as watching TV with my daughters and the love of my life if he was around. As I sit in the garden admiring God's great art I day dream about the 101 things in the beautiful nature that God created for us that I would want to share with the man I love and who loves me. The simple things like lying on our backs on a beautiful lawn carpet during a warm night and staring at the moon & stars, bathing together in a flowing river on a hot summer afternoon, walking slowly whilst holding hands as gentle showers of rain pour on us, etc. Later on as I lie on the couch watching TV, I start wishing I was lying on the lap of a man who loves me and whom I love as we watch TV together. 
Damn, why should God make an incurable romantic like myself lonely, it's such a worst of my romantic nature. Anyway, it is romantic thoughts of the 101 or more things I wish I could do with the man I love that can keep long distance internet-dating alive with possibilities and hope of so much to look forward to when we meet and would make the relationship very exciting. I personally think long distance internet dating is appropriate for people like me who have vivid imaginations and believe in getting to know each other's minds and characters first before taking the relationship a step further into the physical intimacy level. 
Posts
ciao dall'italia
ReplyDelete